Never Before’s

The tension across the world has never been tighter. Everywhere you turn. Every conversation you overhear is about one of the various world ending threats, nuclear threat, collapsing housing market, massive inflation and layoffs. Fun stuff.

Now normally I would talk about each of these in detail explaining why they WILL kill you and which WILL get you first, but today I'm in a good mood and would like to think of the good things.

Some of the best things in human history are happening right now.

Never before in human's long history have you ever been able to pay someone to deliver you a two thousand calorie double cheeseburger and wash it down with an opioid pill. The pill delivered shortly after your burger. You won’t know which is killing you quicker, the opioids or the diabetes.

Never before in human history could someone (who has had just about enough of things) express his opinion in the form of mailing homemade explosives. And then publish their manifesto on the single largest distributor of books in the world.

Never before in human history could you argue with a mentally challenged teenager online about subjects both of you discovered that day. As new experts in heated debate, you exchange ideas and interpretations of data and come to the conclusion that you hate each other. 

Never before in human history could you watch a live stream of a war going on in foreign lands, and have said live stream interrupted by a rather catchy Burger King commercial. And you find yourself hungry again for a delivery cheeseburger. 

This is a time of “never before’s”, and that is worth celebrating. So open that bottle of alcohol you’ve been saving for a rainy day and cheers to the end of the world, cheers to an end to the “like before’s”, and cheers to usher in all the “never before’s” to come.